He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
