in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
