I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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