glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
