spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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