never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
