remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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