He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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