yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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