Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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