I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
