Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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