shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
