i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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