Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
