Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize