I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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