so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I had to cum in my sink.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
