what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
