you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
