Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
