Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
