Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
