we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
