just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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