It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize