As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
