i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
oh god the rape fog is back!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Randomize
