Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
