But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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