the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
