Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Randomize
