i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
