No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Is it because I queefed?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
