i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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