Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
