where am i from again
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
