btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
