it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
