He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
