If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
