You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
