No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Even my vagina gasped.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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