I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
