The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
