Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
