yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
