dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
