I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
