it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
