I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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