i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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