oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
