I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Randomize
